My baby starts 5th grade tomorrow. Her last year of elementary school. I realize this is a cliche, but I don't know if I'm ever going to be ready to let my little bird leave the nest. I have gotten past the point where I checked on her every time I woke up in the middle of the night (I think got over that by the time she was 5 or 6). But I want to constantly run behind her, as if she were learning to ride a bicycle*, with my arms outstretched ready to catch her if she falls. I want to be there for her at recess when no one else wants to play with her.** I want to pick out her clothes and comb her hair in the morning. I want to hold her hand in the hall.
Next year, when she starts middle school, there will be no "after school fun club" for children of working parents, and she will get out too early for me to pick her up. If she rides the bus home, she will be home alone for about 15 minutes. There is a work-at-home parent on one side of us, and a stay-at-home parent on the other. She is smart and trustworthy. She will be fine. So why does my heart hurt when I think about it? Why was J's first response to this proposed scenario "I don't know about that?"
I am trying. We were driving past the college dorms, and she pointed out that if she stayed at home and went to Hometown University, she wouldn't have to live in the dorm. My head and my lips said "That's true, but you might want to live in the dorms. Or you might want to go to a different university." But my heart said "That's right, baby. You should just stay at home where you're safe."
*Ironic, since I wasn't even there when she learned how to ride a bicycle. She was spending the day at my parents' house, and my sister taught her. So apparently I can let go.
**Even though I know it's mostly her fault, since she can be pretty stubborn when she wants to play a particular game and will refuse to play what her friends are playing.
Next year, when she starts middle school, there will be no "after school fun club" for children of working parents, and she will get out too early for me to pick her up. If she rides the bus home, she will be home alone for about 15 minutes. There is a work-at-home parent on one side of us, and a stay-at-home parent on the other. She is smart and trustworthy. She will be fine. So why does my heart hurt when I think about it? Why was J's first response to this proposed scenario "I don't know about that?"
I am trying. We were driving past the college dorms, and she pointed out that if she stayed at home and went to Hometown University, she wouldn't have to live in the dorm. My head and my lips said "That's true, but you might want to live in the dorms. Or you might want to go to a different university." But my heart said "That's right, baby. You should just stay at home where you're safe."
*Ironic, since I wasn't even there when she learned how to ride a bicycle. She was spending the day at my parents' house, and my sister taught her. So apparently I can let go.
**Even though I know it's mostly her fault, since she can be pretty stubborn when she wants to play a particular game and will refuse to play what her friends are playing.
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