Boo wants to get her ears pierced.
She's actually wanted it for several years, but freely admitted that she was too afraid. And I wasn't quite ready for her to do it because I didn't think she was ready to take care of them, so I have to confess that I took advantage of her fears.
Boo: <whine>I wish I could have pierced ears! </whine>
Me: Well, honey, you can you can have them whenever you want.
J: Are you serious?
Me: Boo, do you want to go get your ears pierced? Right now?
Me: <triumphantly to J> See? Nothing to worry about.
But she's older - almost as old as I was when I got mine pierced - and I think she can handle it now. Also, I'm going to get mine re-pierced, as I lost the ability to wear earrings about a decade ago and I'm going to give it another shot. So we're going it together. Mother/daughter bonding! It rocks! And now, llet the ordeal begin.
First, there's the fact that I will not take her to someplace like Claire's that uses a gun. It's fairly well documented that the guns cannot be sterilized, and that they actually cause more painful crushing than piercing with a needle. So I decided we're going to a piercing shop instead. We visited the one shop I know about here in Mayberry and spent an uncomfortable 20 minutes in the waiting room listening to Profane McHoleyface rant and bitch (using a dialect normally attributed to sailors) about politics while he pierced a college-age guy someplace other than his ear. After that, we were rather uncomfortable (especially Boo) so I asked a few questions ("If I get my ears re-pierced, is there a chance they won't get itchy and irritated every time I wear earrings?" "Yes, if you don't use that @#$% from Claire's!") and we politely excused ourselves, ostensibly to come back at another time (not).
Next step was to call a shop in The Big City and ask if they'll pierce a 10-year-old's ears. "Yes, but she'll need proof of age." Okay, what counts as proof of age for a 10 year old? Her birth certificate and a photo ID. Photo ID? For a 10 year old? What do most people use?"
"Oh, you know. A passport, government-issued ID, or a driver's license."
Driver's license? Seriously?
"Well, you know, a state ID that's like a driver's license. It just has to be government-issued."
Okay, don't have that. Will anything else work? I mean, this is kind of a strict requirement.
"It's not our requirement, it's the state law.* A lot of schools issue IDs, so we can take that."
I'm not sure that "school ID" is the same as "government-issued ID," but there is nothing to be gained by bringing that up. What about a yearbook? It's issued by her school. Would that count?
Brief consultation with someone in the background. "Yeah, I think that will work."
I'm not bowled over with the confidence in this scheme, so I decide to get her an official gubmint-issued state ID (like a license, but without the whole permission-to-drive part). According to the internets, we'll need a primary form of identification (birth certificate) and a secondary form (long list of things I don't have). Oh, but one secondary form of ID is an affadavit from the parent. I call the tag agency and ask what this affadavit needs to say.
"It's just a signed form saying blah blah blah. You don't need to bring anything - if they need one, they'll have you sign one." So let me get this straight - to get my child's ears pierced, I need (according to state law) a birth certificate and official gubmint-issued photo ID. But to get that actual official gubmint-issued photo ID, all I need is a birth certificate and my own signature. Something is wrong here. Anyway, we're planning to get the official gubmint-issued photo ID today. Knock on wood.
*And of course this begs the question... How is it that I could take a month-old baby into Claire's and get her ears pierced (not that I would), but for a child who is actually old enough to say "Yes, I want my ears pierced" we have to jump through all sorts of hoops?