Like last year, all of Boo's summer field trips were on Fridays this year. And I'm off on Fridays during the summer. So naturally I get to go. Yay me.
There was one trip I was really dreading. The trip to the amusement park. Which for some reason they never plan for May, when temps are in the 80s or 90s. No, we've got to do it at the height of August, because if you're going to tromp around on superheated black asphalt, you want to do it in triple digit temps, right? Of course you do.
(And no, sending her without me isn't an option. They use volunteer parent chaperones for these trips and I've seen the kind of supervision some of those other parents provide. Last year two kids - that I know of - got separated from their groups on this very trip.)
So this year I told Boo I would do anything else on that day. Anything. As long as we didn't have to go to the amusement park. We planned a trip to a pizza/game place (kind of like Chuck E Cheese but less lame) and shopping.
So naturally, it turns out the amusement park was already closed for the season on the day her daycare decided to go. And naturally they decided to go to the pizza/game place instead.
Seriously, Fate. I've entered a lot of contests lately. I don't expect to win any of them. Outsmart me, please.
Item the first: Boo had been whining for a cell phone for months. ALL HER FRIENDS had one. She was the ONLY PERSON IN SCHOOL who didn't. Yeah, right. But a few months ago, I told J "We're going to want her to have a cell phone when she starts riding the bus in August. We may as well go ahead and do it now." Except... last weekend, when I brought up the possibility of her riding the bus home to my parents' house instead of our house, my dad said "Don't put her on the bus. I'll pick her up." Which is a good thing, I'm not complaining. But still.
Item the second: Boo has the opportunity to join either band or orchestra starting in 6th grade. She was waffling but finally chose band, which I duly noted on her enrollment form that we turned in back in May. And in July, when a friend mentioned she had seen a nice used clarinet in a local guitar store, we went and snapped it up. After all, there's no place in town to rent band instruments. Good idea, right? Except... when we picked up her class schedule, she wasn't in band. We did manage to get that fixed, thank God. But now I have a note from the band director saying there will be a meeting to discuss "director approved instruments" and that a company from The Big Town will be here to provide rentals of said instruments. Huh. Could be interesting.
Anyway, universe, I would like to point out that I am planning to NOT win the lottery this week. So, you know, if you wanted to thwart my plans once again... I'm just sayin'.
I'm not the most attractive person in the world. I can accept that. But I usually feel like I look halfway decent when I leave the house to go to work. And then, two hours later, I see myself in the bathroom mirror (click to experience the full horror)...
... and I think, (a) did I look like this when I left the house? and (b) if so, why do I bother? Why don't I sleep an extra hour or so and just skip all of this? And you know what? You can't even see my poorly-painted toenails here. We're talking top-to-bottom, full force glamour here, baby.
I don’t use Twitter (I don’t use Facebook either, but that’s a different story) but I thought I’d pretend, for the day, that I do. So here’s what I would have Tweeted, had I been Tweeting (Twittering?) yesterday:
8:45 am I have a pyramid head today. I hate my hair.
11:56 am I’m rarely inspired to spit out candy, but I think that one was actually barbeque flavored.
12:40 pm Billie Jean is NOT my lover; she’s a lying bitch.
2:05 pm Wow... I was just indirectly threatened with work-related legal action. This is strangely cool.
6:25 pm Aaaaaaah! Old lady in Cadillac carrying the same purse as me!
6:35 pm No pork tenderloin AGAIN??? Fucking Walmart. I hate you SO much.
8:25 pm Boo's best friend just barfed all over our... what do you call it? Front stoop? Too small for a porch. But I digress.
You know what? It's probably a good thing I don't use Twitter.