Three is a Magic Number

Outsmarted II: The Outsmartinator

Like last year, all of Boo's summer field trips were on Fridays this year. And I'm off on Fridays during the summer. So naturally I get to go. Yay me. 

There was one trip I was really dreading. The trip to the amusement park. Which for some reason they never plan for May, when temps are in the 80s or 90s. No, we've got to do it at the height of August, because if you're going to tromp around on superheated black asphalt, you want to do it in triple digit temps, right? Of course you do.

(And no, sending her without me isn't an option. They use volunteer parent chaperones for these trips and I've seen the kind of supervision some of those other parents provide. Last year two kids - that I know of - got separated from their groups on this very trip.)

So this year I told Boo I would do anything else on that day. Anything. As long as we didn't have to go to the amusement park. We planned a trip to a pizza/game place (kind of like Chuck E Cheese but less lame) and shopping.

So naturally, it turns out the amusement park was already closed for the season on the day her daycare decided to go. And naturally they decided to go to the pizza/game place instead.

Seriously, Fate. I've entered a lot of contests lately. I don't expect to win any of them. Outsmart me, please.

Outsmarted

My best laid plans always go to waste.

Item the first: Boo had been whining for a cell phone for months. ALL HER FRIENDS had one. She was the ONLY PERSON IN SCHOOL who didn't. Yeah, right. But a few months ago, I told J "We're going to want her to have a cell phone when she starts riding the bus in August. We may as well go ahead and do it now." Except... last weekend, when I brought up the possibility of her riding the bus home to my parents' house instead of our house, my dad said "Don't put her on the bus. I'll pick her up." Which is a good thing, I'm not complaining. But still.

Item the second: Boo has the opportunity to join either band or orchestra starting in 6th grade. She was waffling but finally chose band, which I duly noted on her enrollment form that we turned in back in May. And in July, when a friend mentioned she had seen a nice used clarinet in a local guitar store, we went and snapped it up. After all, there's no place in town to rent band instruments. Good idea, right? Except... when we picked up her class schedule, she wasn't in band. We did manage to get that fixed, thank God. But now I have a note from the band director saying there will be a meeting to discuss "director approved instruments" and that a company from The Big Town will be here to provide rentals of said instruments. Huh. Could be interesting.

Anyway, universe, I would like to point out that I am planning to NOT win the lottery this week. So, you know, if you wanted to thwart my plans once again... I'm just sayin'.

See, THIS is your problem...

Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who listens to the lyrics... I’ve already bitched about Justin Bieber, but he’s not the only one whose songs make me say “huh.”

"Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" by Wham:

Cuddle up baby, move in tight
We'll go dancing tomorrow night
It's cold out there but it's warm in bed
They can dance, we'll stay home instead

See, George, this is why she* does not wake you up before she go-gos. Because she wants to dance, and you will try to talk her into staying in bed. She doesn't want to do the nasty, she wants to do the go-go. Go dance with her, you horny jerk.

*Yes, I know it's likely he didn't have a "she" in mind. But at the time, he would have given us that impression, so that's what I'm going with.

"Fernando" by Abba:

Though we never thought that we could lose
There's no regret
If I had to do the same again
I would my friend, Fernando

Well, of course you would do it again if you had to. That's what "had to" means, Abba. It means you don't have a choice. Did you mean "If I had the choice to do it again, I would?" If so, say that. God.

"Cold Shot" by Stevie Ray Vaughan

I really meant I was sorry
For ever causing you pain
You showed your appreciation
By walking out anyway

Okay, Stevie, I'm sorry to be picking on you when you're dead and all, but here's the deal. You caused her pain. So she walked out. It was nice of you to apologize, but she is under no obligation to remain with you, pain-causing-guy, just because you said you're sorry. So don't be all snarky 'bout her showing her appreciation by walking out. Also, if you were still alive, I'd suggest you look into the classic hurt-apologize cycle of an abusive relationship to see why this is an inappropriate expectation on your part. But you're not. Again, sorry about that.

Pretty much any song that threatens to change my "point of view," mostly on Radio Disney

I'm tired of little teenyboppers claiming they can change my "point of view." You can't. You might be able to change my opinion, but my point of view is not the same thing. So quit it.