Three is a Magic Number

Great questions of our time

How did I get on CMT's mailing list? You can't fool me... that C stands for Country.

Why does my eye shadow start out pink/ivory and turn orange?

Why can't I find oval-shaped Kleenex boxes any more? I love them!

Outsmarted II: The Outsmartinator

Like last year, all of Boo's summer field trips were on Fridays this year. And I'm off on Fridays during the summer. So naturally I get to go. Yay me. 

There was one trip I was really dreading. The trip to the amusement park. Which for some reason they never plan for May, when temps are in the 80s or 90s. No, we've got to do it at the height of August, because if you're going to tromp around on superheated black asphalt, you want to do it in triple digit temps, right? Of course you do.

(And no, sending her without me isn't an option. They use volunteer parent chaperones for these trips and I've seen the kind of supervision some of those other parents provide. Last year two kids - that I know of - got separated from their groups on this very trip.)

So this year I told Boo I would do anything else on that day. Anything. As long as we didn't have to go to the amusement park. We planned a trip to a pizza/game place (kind of like Chuck E Cheese but less lame) and shopping.

So naturally, it turns out the amusement park was already closed for the season on the day her daycare decided to go. And naturally they decided to go to the pizza/game place instead.

Seriously, Fate. I've entered a lot of contests lately. I don't expect to win any of them. Outsmart me, please.

Outsmarted

My best laid plans always go to waste.

Item the first: Boo had been whining for a cell phone for months. ALL HER FRIENDS had one. She was the ONLY PERSON IN SCHOOL who didn't. Yeah, right. But a few months ago, I told J "We're going to want her to have a cell phone when she starts riding the bus in August. We may as well go ahead and do it now." Except... last weekend, when I brought up the possibility of her riding the bus home to my parents' house instead of our house, my dad said "Don't put her on the bus. I'll pick her up." Which is a good thing, I'm not complaining. But still.

Item the second: Boo has the opportunity to join either band or orchestra starting in 6th grade. She was waffling but finally chose band, which I duly noted on her enrollment form that we turned in back in May. And in July, when a friend mentioned she had seen a nice used clarinet in a local guitar store, we went and snapped it up. After all, there's no place in town to rent band instruments. Good idea, right? Except... when we picked up her class schedule, she wasn't in band. We did manage to get that fixed, thank God. But now I have a note from the band director saying there will be a meeting to discuss "director approved instruments" and that a company from The Big Town will be here to provide rentals of said instruments. Huh. Could be interesting.

Anyway, universe, I would like to point out that I am planning to NOT win the lottery this week. So, you know, if you wanted to thwart my plans once again... I'm just sayin'.

How I feel today

I'm not the most attractive person in the world. I can accept that. But I usually feel like I look halfway decent when I leave the house to go to work. And then, two hours later, I see myself in the bathroom mirror (click to experience the full horror)...

... and I think, (a) did I look like this when I left the house? and (b) if so, why do I bother? Why don't I sleep an extra hour or so and just skip all of this? And you know what? You can't even see my poorly-painted toenails here. We're talking top-to-bottom, full force glamour here, baby.

If I was a Tweeter...

I don’t use Twitter (I don’t use Facebook either, but that’s a different story) but I thought I’d pretend, for the day, that I do. So here’s what I would have Tweeted, had I been Tweeting (Twittering?) yesterday:

8:45 am  I have a pyramid head today. I hate my hair.

11:56 am I’m rarely inspired to spit out candy, but I think that one was actually barbeque flavored.

12:40 pm  Billie Jean is NOT my lover; she’s a lying bitch.

2:05 pm  Wow... I was just indirectly threatened with work-related legal action. This is strangely cool.

6:25 pm Aaaaaaah! Old lady in Cadillac carrying the same purse as me!

6:35 pm No pork tenderloin AGAIN??? Fucking Walmart. I hate you SO much.

8:25 pm Boo's best friend just barfed all over our... what do you call it? Front stoop? Too small for a porch. But I digress.

You know what? It's probably a good thing I don't use Twitter.

Things are looking up

Literally.



The temperature is finally warm enough to let kids and dogs play outside. I got my injection of the Magic Drug today (retail value $741, yikes, my cost $60), and life is good.

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The last Cotton Bowl update

Well, that sucked. The officials seemed to be conspiring against us, and even if they weren't, we sucked, so there you go.

Ironic: having no AT&T service at the AT&T Cotton Bowl.

Funny: a text message sent to the big screen that said "Tim Tebow has an Ole Miss snuggie."

Strong: the Cowboyrita (should be, since it costs as much as an entire bottle of tequila in the real world).

Historic: the first Cotton Bowl not at the Cotton Bowl.

Annoying: the woman behind us. Katie Ann the pompon girl, you have some annoying friends and/or family.

Shameful: waving the rebel flag. For God's sake, people, it's 2010. Being a "tradition" doesn't make it right.

Adorable: these two.



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The sea of orange

Pretty cool...



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Cotton Bowl update 4

I don't know who the World Famous Kilgore Rangerettes are. I just know that is some godawful shrill music they're prancing around to.



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Cotton Bowl update 3

It is huge.



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